The Dinner
by fangirl1982
Summary: Gabrielle does Jack a favour and goes on a 'non-date' with him, and things go from there...


**The Dinner**

"Gabrielle, I don't suppose you can do me a favour?"

Gabrielle Jaeger looked at her colleague and friend Jack Quade with suspicion. He was looking at her with puppy-dog eyes, which no doubt meant he was in a bind and needed her help with something. And since Jack was a highly capable man, it must be something big if he was coming to her about it. "What is it?" she asked cautiously.

"Well, it's my sister's graduation dinner next Saturday and her dad and some of her friends are going and... I need a date."

She looked at him incredulously. She had accepted him back reluctantly when he had returned to the ED late last year following some kind of deep trauma and his eventual resignation from his surgical post. She had been wary about having him around her, knowing his reputation with women – particularly one of the best temp nurses she had ever had, Rachel Simms, who Jack had seduced and discarded the next day without a thought for the infatuated nurse's feelings. She had been reluctant to have anything to do with him, but he had gradually grown on her. He was intelligent and compassionate and they had the same dry sense of humour. And it helped that he never did anything that could be construed as romantic or sexual interest. She was actually beginning to trust him, to feel that he respected both her and women in general. And now here he was, asking her out. The nerve of him! "No!" she said indignantly.

He looked taken aback. He knew it was a bit of an odd proposition, but she didn't have to knock him back so vehemently. "It's a free meal at a nice restaurant, why not?" he asked.

"Because I wouldn't date you if hell froze over, Jack," she said. She hadn't intended to sound so harsh, but really, what did he expect, asking her for a date like this?

He looked at her quizzically, then his mouth crinkled into a smile and he laughed. Damn, but she had to admit he had a gorgeous smile on the rare occasion he chosen to display it. No wonder Rachel had been so smitten with him. She mentally berated herself for thinking about that. Jack was a good-looking man who used that to get any woman he wanted, and it was a stupid woman who ever let herself forget that. "I wasn't asking you out on a date, Gabrielle, I was asking you to _be_ my date."

She stared at him for a second, unsure of the difference. In the small country town she came from, a date was a date, a guy on a girl on a potential romantic liaison. "The difference is that I need someone to keep me company. I don't get along too well with her step-dad and her friends are always hitting on me. Silly, infatuated uni students who think having a surgeon for a boyfriend is the Holy Grail of dating." The way he said that made Gabrielle pause for thought. You would think that 'silly, infatuated uni students' would be the exact type of women Jack would be interested in – women too inexperienced to spot a player like Jack. Did he seriously want more than that? She found it hard to believe. "Anyone, Paul – that's my step-dad – will lay off on me and her friends won't hit on me if I have a date, so... _please_. I'll pay you," he added weakly.

She actually felt sorry for him when he said that. She bet it had been a while since Jack had had to pay for company. She wondered what kind of man his step-father was. Jack didn't talk much about his family, but she had gleaned enough to know he was the result of an affair between a married man and a barmaid, had been dumped with his father, step-mother and three half-brothers when he was very young and had only briefly reconciled with his mother before her death several years ago now. She got the impression that he had never felt wanted by anyone except the half-sister to his mother, and that his step-father didn't particularly like him. "I think I remind him that there were other men in my mum's life than him," had been the most Jack had opened up about it, but it had been enough to stick in Gabrielle's mind. And now here he was, admitting that Paul didn't like him, enough to give him grief whenever they got together – which, from what Gabrielle could gather, was as infrequently as both men could contrive. But a graduation part wasn't something either man could turn down for the sake of a young woman they both adored, so they were forced to put up with each other for the evening. It must have meant a lot to Jack if he was trying to rustle up a date.

"Why don't you ask Cate?" Gabrielle asked.

"I haven't seen much of her since she and Heath got together," Jack admitted. "And I don't think he'd like that much."

She knew Jack hadn't intended to insult her, but his words reminded her of her own recently singlehood. Her ex, Steve, was an alcoholic who had cheated on her at least once – for all she knew, it could have just been the only one she had found out about. "Besides," Jack added, as if sensing he had said something to upset her, albeit unintentionally. "I like you and we get along, yeah? It's a really nice place and I'll pick up your tab. What have you got to lose?"

Not much, she had to admit. As a Nursing Unit Manager, she had the privilege of working business hours instead of shift work, so she always had Friday and Saturday nights free, but it was a privilege wasted on her. She often found herself covering for one of her two subordinates who were disgustingly in love so they could have the night off together. They certainly put them to far better use than she would with a bath, a book and a glass of wine. And it had been a while since she had got out to dinner, let alone anywhere really nice. Steve hadn't been much of a restaurant person; he had preferred home-cooked meals. As in, Gabrielle's home-cooked meals. "OK," she agreed cautiously. "But I swear to God if you try anything – "

He beamed and reached out to squeeze her upper arm. It was a simple, friendly gesture but it reminded her of what a strong, secure grip he had. On his first day back, they had been forced to go hunting for a dog, and when the animal in question had turned out to be a massive growling, drooling creature, she had jumped back into his arms in fright. His reflexes were excellent and he had wrapped his arm around her waist, preventing her from falling backwards. She still remembered how secure she had felt in his arms.

Damn, she shouldn't be thinking about that.

"I'll pick you up," he offered. "That way you can drink."

She waved him away. The last thing she wanted to do was lower her guard with alcohol. "No, I'll pick you up," she said. "I don't like being driven around by anyone else," she explained when Jack looked at her quizzically, having never known someone who turned down a lift and the opportunity to drink. "It used to drive Steve batty." In actual fact, Steve had loved it because it meant he didn't have to watch what he drank. Not that he ever watched what he drank anyway.

* * *

"I hear you and Jack have a date," Charlotte said with a smirk.

Gabrielle scowled. Gossip got around fast, and when it was gossip about Jack... "It's not a date. It's his sister's graduation and he wants someone to keep him company."

If it was Rebecca's graduation, then her father would be there too, Charlotte realised. She knew Jack didn't get along with his step-father and wasn't surprised that he had wanted an escort to anything where he had to deal with Paul. And she also knew Jack was more than a little freaked out by how much interest he attracted from Rebecca's friends. And he and Gabrielle got on well, it made sense that if he needed a date, he would ask her. Charlotte got that there was nothing more to it then that. But still, the opportunity to rib Gabrielle was too tempting to resist. "So... it's a _date, and_ you're meeting his family." She laughed when Gabrielle's scowl grew deeper. Sometimes, the woman made her feelings too easily known. But then, it was what Charlotte liked about her. "Go and enjoy yourself," she said, just before going off to tell Bart the new information she'd learnt. After all, this was too good to keep to herself.

* * *

It was an African-themed restaurant Gabrielle had heard of but never gone too. It was hugely popular, and Rebecca had been lucky to get a booking for such a large table. "She has her ways of talking anyone into anything," Jack explained with an affectionate chuckle. Gabrielle didn't doubt it. If she was anything like Jack –

The younger woman had been surprised to see her brother had brought someone. She had known Jack for almost three years now, and in that time, he had only introduced her to one woman romantically, and that had been Deanna Richardson. She made a face just thinking about the manipulative witch her brother had been suckered into dating. She suspected it was the _reason_ he hadn't dated since, too gun-shy after being hurt and humiliated by his vengeful, manipulative ex. She hoped this one was an improvement. "She's just a mate," Jack said when Rebecca quizzed him about it. "You know I don't like these things much." To make a point, he gave a sidewise glance to Jenny Mitchell, one of Rebecca's oldest friends. She adored Jenny, but was well aware she was man-crazy – with the emphases on _men_. She didn't date boys, she would often say loftily, and being seven years older than her and Rebecca and in a highly regarded profession, someone like Jack was _exactly_ what she wanted in a boyfriend. She pestered him to take her out constantly in what she thought was youthful sophistication but was merely brattiness. Rebecca found it amusing but as she watched Gabrielle with a critical eye, she knew this was not some brat who 'only dated men'.

She seemed genuinely fond of Jack, Rebecca thought. She had witnessed firsthand the way women acted around her brother many a time. Jenny wasn't the only one who thought it didn't get much better than dating a surgeon. Women (and some men) flocked to him like bees to honey. And you could tell by the look on Jack's face that he rarely had any time for such women – and what time he _did_ have wasn't something they really wanted to brag about. Although Jack thought he had kept that part of his life from her, she had picked up enough bits and pieces from his friends, particularly Dan and Erica, to know he had a history of promiscuity. She wondered if the story about humiliating a colleague into quitting was true or just vicious gossip. So between what gossip she picked up and her experience with Deanna, she knew her brother didn't have much in the way of a connection with women.

But Gabrielle was different, she could see that straight away. Part of it was that Gabrielle was just the only one there his own age, she realised. But there was something else. He seemed comfortable, relaxed around her. She knew Jack well enough to know that didn't happen often. And he seemed to be respecting her personal space – not keeping his distance, but not getting too close, either. Or maybe it was just their body language. They seemed fond of each other. Come to think of it, he had mentioned her a few times now...

... "Your sister's very nosy," Gabrielle commented as the dinner was winding down. She was so full her stomach thought, and that was a huge compliment to the chef, because she had been raised on the freshest of foods and was extremely fussy about what she ate. Or maybe it was just the pleasant company. She had never truly socialised with Jack before – just after-work drinks as a group and that one time when Heath had made them all go to an ice hockey game – and now she got to see what a charming, witty, intelligent man he was. No wonder that blond friend of Rebecca's was glaring at her with daggers in her eyes. Several times, it had been on the tip of Gabrielle's tongue to tell the girl that she was too young for Jack, even when Jack had been in his most undiscerning phase.

And then there had been Rebecca herself. Gabrielle was sure she was a lovely girl – Jack couldn't be as fond of her as he was if she wasn't – but whenever she and Gabrielle were alone (and Rebecca always seemed to have the same idea to go to the toilet/bar/dessert display when Gabrielle did) she asked questioned about their friendship. Where they close? How often did they see each other outside of work? Did they ever socialise just the two of them? Gabrielle couldn't help wondering what Jack had said about her to his sister.

"Nothing!" Jack said indignantly, but he was smiling. He was enjoying himself. He had never really socialised with Gabrielle before – just after-work drinks and that one time Heath had made them all go to the hockey game – so he was delighted to find that she could be bubbly and fun. It had been a while since he had bothered to take the time to discover a woman was bubbly and fun. And she didn't scrub up half bad either. She was wearing a dark-red dress that set off her fair skin wonderfully. He didn't usually like red on women – too obvious – but that colour suited her wonderfully.

He realised he was staring, and forced his mind off how she looked. "She's just, as you say, _nosy_," Jack admitted. He loved Rebecca but he didn't particularly like the way she was so interested in his personal life. His private life was private, thankyouverymuch. He smiled and his whole face softened. "She means well," he conceded. "I, uh, don't date much and that worries her."

"That's not surprising," Gabrielle commentary wryly.

"That I don't date or that it worries her?"

"Both." Her mind wandered slightly, and she thought about something her brother had said to similar effect. Ben didn't know why she and Steve had broken up, so in his mind, he had an older sister who's personal life consisted of reruns of _Buffy_. She wondered if Jack had such a reason for not dating, if he had been burnt as badly as she had, or if he was just another good-looking, intelligent guy suffering from a chronic case of entitlement.

"Hey." He looked at her quizzically, taking note of the fact her eyes had suddenly shifted out of focus, as if thinking about something. "Did I say something that upset you?"

She looked at him, surprised. She hadn't realised her thoughts were written on her face like that. "No, why?"

"You just looked a little upset about something. I hope Rebecca wasn't too rude. I can go and talk to her if you –"

"Oh, God, no, Jack. It's nothing. Don't bring your sister down on her graduation because of me." But she couldn't help but wonder if he really would have said something to Rebecca... and feel a little flattered at the thought that he might of.

Dinner wrapped up shortly after that. Rebecca and her friends were hitting the clubs, something neither Jack or Gabrielle had an interest in doing. "I don't really feel like going home yet, though," Jack admitted. "Do you think you can have a drink and still be able to drive? My shout."

Gabrielle found herself agreeing to Jack's offer and they headed outside together towards her car. Despite still being summer, it was a cool night, and she shivered. She had dressed up for this dinner, and she hadn't had anything that remotely resembled a formal jacket to go with the dress – she hadn't even known what had possessed her to buy the only nice dress she'd bought since her high school graduation, except that she'd seen it and fallen in love with the colour, dramatically red without being obvious – so she just hadn't worn anything. "Here," Jack said, noticing her shiver and slipping off his own jacket, wrapping it around her shoulders.

"Won't you be cold?" she asked.

"Nah. I have a beer jacket."

"A what?"

He grinned at her. "Sometimes I think you never grew up in the country," he teased. "Or is the country pub just a myth?"

She poked her tongue out at him. "It is not a myth, I just never drank a lot."

"I don't doubt that." There was something about her that fascinated him the more he got to know her. She had a lot of strength and authority, yet there was something sad and lonely about her that he recognised because he knew it in himself. At times she seemed very worldly and experienced and at others, very _in_experienced. He knew she didn't drink much, and wondered if it had anything to do with the rumours Steve had initially left under a cloud of drunken stupor.

He gave her directions to a pub that was close to his home. "This area has a lot of immigrants who work hard and play hard, so it gets quite interesting on weekend nights," he said with a smile. He led her to a booth in the corner. "What do you want?" he asked. "My shout," he said when she reached for her purse.

She said she'd have whatever he was having, and he came back a few minutes later with two pints. He sat down next to her and they found themselves talking easily over the next half hour. "So," he said, a smile on his lips and a glint in his eye, "have I met your standards of 'not trying anything'?"

Gabrielle blushed. She had to admit, Jack had behaved far more gentlemanly than she would ever have given him credit. She had entirely forgotten her concerns that he might hit on her. She was surprised to realise just how much fun she had had. She nodded sheepishly. "I thought you'd take the first opportunity you could to hit on that."

She was surprised when Jack laughed at that. She scowled and wanted to know what was so funny. She wasn't _that_ much of a dog that he would find the idea of hitting on her amusing, was she? She was at least as good-looking as Rachel... and taller, too. "It's nothing personal," he said when he stopped laughing. "But I've been in a relationship with someone who was hung up on their ex. She used to lie in my arms and wish she was with him. I thought if I loved her enough, she would get over it, but I learnt better and vowed I was never going to get involved with someone like that again. What?" he asked when he saw the looked on her face.

She shrugged. "Oh, nothing. It's just odd to hear you talk about Steve and I like we'd ever get back together."

"You were together for a long time, from what I understand," he said with perception she hadn't realised he possessed. "You meant enough to each other to get back together. I would have thought that was something that's pretty hard to ever really get over."

She had, like everyone, heard about his relationship with Terri Sullivan. The general consensus was that he had been a fool to think she could ever care about him the way he wanted her to, the way she had cared about him. People wondered if this was why he went through women the way he did, that he'd been so badly burned he was no longer interested in risking his heart for someone. "Maybe," she said cautiously, still blown away by Jack's perception. She found herself opening up and telling Jack about why they'd broken up – the first time, because he'd cheated on her with her so-called 'best friend' and the second because he'd left under the cloud of a drunken stupor. "I think I'll always love him, but I don't think I'll ever trust him again, not the way I need to in order to be in a relationship with him," she concluded. "What?" she asked when she saw Jack looking at her with an odd gleam of understanding in his eyes.

"I think I know what you mean," he said slowly. "Terri and I get along really well these days – it helps that Mitch died before Lucy had turned three, and Terri doesn't date a lot, so I'm basically the closest thing she has to being a father – we actually get along a lot better than we did when we were... lovers, I guess." It had been pretty delusional of him to think of himself as her boyfriend, when Terri herself had told him she wasn't interested in a relationship. "Letters, emails, birthdays and Christmases, that kind of thing. Anyway, Dan once asked me if I could see us ever being together again – if it wasn't for the whole Sydney-Scotland thing," he added ruefully. "And honestly, I can't. It's a few things – I don't think I could ever be really happy with someone who is so religious, it would drive me batty – but mostly it's about trust. After you've been burned trying to make someone love you instead of their late ex – it's not something you can really ever get over."

They sat in silence for a little while. It was the most Jack had ever opened up to her – the most he had ever opened up to almost anyone, she suspected, and she told him so. Jack laughed at that. "One of the conditions of my coming back to the ED was that I had to have counselling. I hate that woman sometimes. She seemed to think her job isn't done until she's made me cry." He looked a bit sheepish when he said that. "That just slipped out," he said. "Don't tell anyone."

For some reason, she found it endearing that he didn't want anyone to know he was seeing a counsellor. It was nothing to be ashamed of, but such a macho thing to _think_ it was. Idly, she found herself wondering what Travis Knight had meant to him that he had taken his death so hard. There were whispers that he was gay, that he used his promiscuity as a cover, that he and Travis had been lovers... a small form of confusion crossed her face. Rachel had blathered a lot about how good he had been in bed – wasn't that proof of his heterosexuality? She had no idea about these things.

"Anything interesting?" Jack asked mildly, and Gabrielle realised her thoughts had showed on her face. She immediately arranged her mouth into a smile.

"Just a bit sad, talking about exes and relationships that weren't meant to be." It was close enough to the truth, although for some reason, being here with Jack made her a lot less sad about Steve and things not being meant to be than they once had.

"Then we won't talk about it anymore," Jack said brightly, and he eased the conversation into other areas. As an hour slipped by, she was disappointed to realise how late it was and found herself suggesting she take him home. She didn't know why she should be so disappointed.

Even when she pulled into the drive, they were both reluctant to bring the night to an evening and chatted for another few minutes. "I had a good time," she said softly.

"Me too," he said. "I can't remember the last time I had this much fun with a woman."

She had to laugh at that. "You have to be kidding me? How about the last time you got laid?"

Even though it was dark, she could see him making a face. "No... I've had much more fun with you."

His words were so obviously sincere that she was blown away by them and found herself grateful that the dark hid the blood rushing to her cheeks. She couldn't remember the last time someone had made her feel so special, let alone with so few words and it occurred to her that he really _had_ changed. "Well, goodnight," she blurted out, not knowing what else to say.

He sat there for a few seconds until she turned to face him. "What?" she asked.

"Gabs, I need my jacket," he said, and blushing again, she realised she was still wearing it. Well, it was warm and comfortable – he had good taste in clothes. But then, she should have long ago realised that by the way he dressed both for work and tonight. He was a man who liked quality and knew what suited him. She had an idle thought if he sought the same in women, and found herself blushing even harder at that. Her fumblings to get out of it became even more awkward; she was too flustered to realise she still had her seatbelt buckled.

"Here." Jack leaned over and unclipped the restraint. He brought his hands up to her neck and ran them down – slower than he needed to – her arms to ease her out of the jacket. He was surprised at how warm and soft her skin was. She had such an iron-willed professional demeanour that he'd always thought – well, he hadn't known what he'd thought exactly, although he hadn't expected her to feel so... soft and warm.

She shivered slightly at the friction of his hands on her arms. "Cold?" he asked.

"No," she whispered.

He stopped halfway between her shoulders and elbows, the tone in her voice grabbing his attention. "Gabrielle..." he said softly, in a tone she'd never heard him use before – at least not on her. He brought one hand back up to her neck, cupping her chin. He looked steadily in her eyes, detecting the faint colour in her cheeks, even in the dark. He found himself, almost involuntarily, stroking her cheek with his thumb. Even in the dark, he could see something open and honest and vulnerable in her eyes. If he tilted her head just the slightest, she would be at the perfect angle...

He remembered what she had said about not trusting Steve. He remembered how long they had been together, how much he must have hurt her for her to be so guarded around him up until tonight. So vulnerable, so scared of being hurt. He wondered what she made of his recent promiscuity, of his general reputation... of the fact he had coldly seduced one of her temps and ignored the poor girl the next day. Suddenly, he felt nervous as hell and wondered if he was about to make a complete ass of himself...

"Jack," she whispered, prompting him out of his thoughts. He thought he recognised that tone in her voice, in a woman's voice, wanting to be kissed... He tilted her head ever-so-slightly and leaned in...

With what Jack had long ago learnt was impeccably bad timing that Dan had down to an artform, the floodlights the nurse had installed to frighten off a would-be burger switched on, illuminating the front yard, drive and part of the road. Jack jumped back into his seat as if he'd received an electric shock and mumbled an apology. Gabrielle grabbled with Jack's jacket and handed it over. "Here," she mumbled. Damn, were those lights even _legal_? You'd think Dan was using them to man a lighthouse.

"Thanks," he said, inwardly fuming. He knew they'd been out here for a while, knew Dan would have heard the car come in, but that was no excuse to _illuminate the whole front yard!_ He turned his head away so Gabrielle wouldn't see how badly he was blushing. If there ever was a ruined moment, that was it.

He scrambled out of the car and stumbled towards the door in a highly ungraceful way. He didn't turn to wave her goodbye, instead, just listened to her reverse the car and drive off into the night. He waited for a few seconds at the door until he felt his face drain of blood and let himself in. "Dan!" he yelled irritably when he entered the house, stomping down the front hall. "What the fuck was that about? I was just about to kiss her and you turned on the fucking _floodlights_!" He turned the corner into the room that served as their all-purpose entertaining area and didn't need to worry about the colour in his cheeks anymore. He knew he went deathly pale the moment he saw Bart and Cate with Dan and Erica, having set up for a DVD marathon.

"You might want to check who's over before you go yelling through the house," Cate suggested, barely able to keep from laughing, trying to discreetly reach for her phone so she could let her friends at the hospital know. There had been plenty of talk about Jack and Gabrielle's so-called 'not-date', and Jack coming roaring in, furious about their interrupted kiss and yelling it at the top of his lungs was too good _not_ to pass on. And to think it had started as an idle amusement to interrupt whatever they were doing for so long in the drive by turning on blinding lights.

"There's no other cars here," Jack said sullenly.

"That's the great thing about having a friend who can't drink," Bart volunteered. "He picked us up and he'll drop us off."

Jack scowled, and then scowled deeper when he saw _his_ premium beer bottles littered across the floor. Well, he assumed it was his beer. He doubted Bart or Cate had such refined taste. "You _must_ enlighten me someday, Bart, as to how wonderful it must be to be so entitled you think you can help yourself to other people's stuff," he said with such cutting sarcasm that everyone but Dan, who was used to Jack's moods, flinched.

Dan stood up, reached for his wallet, and handed Jack a fifty. "Go buy another carton, and I'll take everyone home," he said pleasantly. Best to give Jack time to cool down and drink himself into a mellow mood. Jack snatched up the money without saying thankyou and excited the house less than a minute after he had entered it. "He gets a bit cranky when people touch his stuff," Dan explained. It was also being caught out blurting out to several people what he had only intended for Dan. "He'll calm down."

"That's quite a cranky," Cate commented. She had known Jack for several years, but never seen that side of him, which went to show how well you knew some people.

"It's hard to explain Jack when he gets like this, but he doesn't mean it. He just needs time by himself." Not even Erica knew about Jack's abusive childhood – Jack had made him swear he wouldn't tell – so Dan was left trying to explain what came across as incredibly childish behaviour when Dan kind of couldn't blame him when his practical jokes invaded Jack's privacy and got his back up.

Dan spent a little time with Erica after dropping her back to her apartment before going back home. Jack was in his room, working his way through the first sixpack, but he had left the door open, which was Jack's way of telling Dan it was safe to come in."You realise you just made one embarrassing moment ten times worse?" he asked wryly, already knowing Jack had realised that. "I think Bart will take great pains not to be on the same shift as you for at least the next month. No-one can be a nasty bitch quite like you."

Jack cringed. Now that he had time to calm down and mellow out, he felt stupid. He had barged in yelling at the top of his lungs, just _asking_ to be caught out. He felt himself blushing again. God, he had made such an ass out of himself. "How long did it take Cate to start ringing people?"

"Probably the second she got out of the car – I told her not to, and she had the good grace not to do it while she was in my car, but I don't like your chances after that." Jack nodded slightly and took a long swig of beer. Dan looked at him with a mixture of concern and interest. "What happened?" he asked. "You may as well tell me, Cate and Bart will be making up their own versions," he pointed out.

Jack shrugged. "We had a good time," he admitted, as if he had expected otherwise. "I really didn't expect to enjoy myself – I just wanted someone to keep me company and keep my step-dad off my back. I think even Bec liked her, and Bec doesn't like anyone in my life."

"I think it was more like she didn't like Deanna," Dan put in helpfully. Like that made her different to anyone else.

"Then we went for a drink afterwards and... I dunno, the conversation just gelled. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had that much fun with a woman."

"You mean apart from when you were sleeping around?" Dan cracked.

Jack scowled. "That's what she said. And I told her otherwise and... " he drifted off and stared into space and Dan saw a look in his eyes that he'd never seen before. He hadn't known Jack well when he'd been involved with Terri Sullivan, but he suspected that was the same look. "Look, I don't know what it was, but it was – it felt right. Did you feel that was about Ricki?"

Dan had to laugh at the sheer hilarity of _Jack_ asking _him_ for relationship advice. Then his laughter died as he realised that he probably _did_ have more relationship experience than Jack – at least when it came to longterm relationships. He wondered just how long Jack's longest relationship had lasted; he certainly hadn't had a proper date in the time the two men had been living together. "Not exactly," he said, remembering how unexpected his and Erica's first kiss was. "But I know what you mean. So... what stopped you?" he asked. ""Apart from me turning on the lights? He felt guilty about that now. It had seemed funny at the time, the whole ward – and a fair chunk of the rest of the hospital – had talked about their 'date' all week and for them to be spending so much time parked outside... but Dan wasn't completely insensitive and knew better than anyone how Jack struggled with his personal relationships. He bet tonight was the first time Jack had bothered to spend time with a woman that didn't involve his bed since Deanna, and that was saying something.

And Dan had thought it would be funny to turn on the lights. _Oops_.

"I started thinking about her and Steve... and me. He's not a guy I would want dating my sister or any of my friends and I realised... I'm exactly the same. I have this awful reputation – "

"Most of it isn't true," Dan pointed out. After he had dumped her, Deanna had held court at Cougars for two weeks telling everything that he was a lousy lay and lousier boyfriend. She threw enough mud that some of it was bound to stick, and Bianca Frost taking up her anti-Jack cause hadn't helped matters much either.

Jack shrugged. "Doesn't matter if it's true or not," he argued, and Dan knew better than to counter that. People believed what they wanted to believe. "I started thinking about what she must think of me and I choked," he admitted. "As far as she's concerned, I seduced one of her nurses and humiliated her into quitting because I was an asshole with nothing better to do with my time."

"Jack, if she knew what happened – "

Jack's eyes flashed dangerously. "No."

"You can't go through your life pretending it didn't happen."

"I know that. But I've never told anyone I've dated about it and I don't plan on starting."

"What, you don't trust her to keep it to herself?" Dan asked. Hospital gossip was rife with rumour and innuendo about what Travis Knight had meant to him that Jack had taken his death so hard. Dan wondered if Jack himself had heard the gay theory; he didn't dare tell his friend. Most likely, no-one had dared tell him. Everyone knew Jack had quite a temper.

"No, I trust her. I don't trust her not to... look at me."

"Look at you?"

"The way you did. You got this... look in your eyes when I told you. Like I was something less."

Dan didn't try to argue despite the fact Jack was way off; fifteen years of shame had made him more than a little paranoid when it came to his sexuality and privacy. "I think you're underestimating her," he said. Gabrielle was the fourth NUM he had worked with since starting at the All Saints ED, and none of them had compassion and integrity like Gabrielle did; Dan knew himself that as acting NUM, he hadn't possessed those traits to the degree Gabrielle did. Jack just shrugged; it was clear nothing was going to convince him that he could tell Gabrielle what had happened to him to make him go off the rails like he did – or that Gabrielle could see past his recent bout of promiscuity. "For someone as smart as you, Jack, you can be a real idiot sometimes," Dan said before leaving Jack's to his own self-pitying devices.

* * *

"Charlotte, do you know how much of this Jack-Gabrielle is true?" Zoe was forced to ask her subordinate two days later. Everyone had been talking about it; there were two witnesses (four, if you included Dan and Erica) to Jack's mini-tantrum about having his kiss interrupted, and Jack being Jack and his reputation being what it was, people couldn't resist talking about it. Gossip being what it was, it tended to go _down_ the chain of command, not _up_, so all Zoe had heard was something about a kiss which may or may not have happened, and all she knew was the doctor she relied on the most had been sullen and restless ever since that damn dinner that he had talked Gabrielle into going to with him.

Charlotte looked as loft and morally superior as she could manage, although like everyone else, she was dying to know what had happened on both their date and the minutes on the driveway leading up to Dan switching on the lights. But despite some diplomatic hinting, Jack hadn't said anything (he did look remarkably sullen, though) and Gabrielle was being as private about her personal life as she always was – which was, not saying a word, despite the fact she herself must have heard the talk about them. It ranged from Jack getting slapped in the face after attempting to come onto her and them having wild sex in the back of her car (after which, naturally, he wanted nothing more to do with her) and everything imaginable in between. "I have no idea, you'll have to ask one of them," she said. May as well let Zoe _think_ she had information. _And if I did, I wouldn't tell you_. But godamnit, couldn't Jack confide in just _her_? They had been friends for _how_ long now? Gone through _how_ much together? You would think that counted for something.

"I did ask them. Well, I asked him. And I got a very sullen none-of-my-business. I didn't realise Jack could be so rude."

Charlotte laughed at that. "Yeah, he can get really bitchy when his back's up," she said. That didn't impress Zoe one bit. "Look, they're both adults," she said, although she had witnessed Jack do some very un-adult things over the years... like relentlessly pursuing her best friend as if she were a toy he wanted to possess and pretending something that bothered him wasn't happening. "Give them a few days to sort it out. I'm sure they'll get over it."

* * *

"Jaeger! What's going on with you and Quade?" Frank bellowed in his usual Frank way to Gabrielle a few days after Charlotte and Zoe's conversation.

Gabrielle looked at Frank with what to Frank seemed like more than a little guilt. "I have no idea what you're talking about," she said as smoothly as she could. Which was actually closer to the truth than anyone might think. She was convinced Jack was going out of his way to avoid her. He'd barely spoken to her since their diner on Saturday, not even when she had gone out of her way to thank him, hoping to start a conversation.

She was baffled and hurt. She would actually understand his behaviour better if they _had_ slept together – a rumour she was well aware was going around. She wondered if it was true that Jack had yelled at the top of his lungs, not realising that Dan had Cate, Erica and Bart over, his displeasure over being 'interrupted'. Had Jack made out like there had been more to interrupt than just an aborted kiss? She frowned. That didn't seem like him at all, but...

And she wondered if she had just imagined it. Surely if the heat she'd thought was there had been real, he would have done something about it instead of going out of his way to avoid her? Had she just imagined it? Had she been so lonely for company and enjoyed herself so much on Saturday night that she had read too much into his attempts to retrieve his jacket?

And now that she had so much to think about rather than resolving the tension between them, her mind inevitably wandered to the kind of reputation he had. It wasn't pretty. She knew some of it wasn't true – if the stories about her predecessor were true, then Deanna Richardson was the kind of woman who really would hold court at the local pub telling made-up stories about her ex-boyfriend, and Bianca Frost had had some kind of irrational axe to grind with him, too, and Gabrielle knew for a fact that Bianca had a twisted, bitter logic all of her own –but still, some of them had to be true. There was no smoke without fire. She knew for a fact that he really had gotten a supposedly-lesbian Charlotte pregnant – a woman who was supposed to have been the best friend of his girlfriend (well, ex-girlfriend by a matter of hours, but when you were talking about details like that, it was semantics) and by his own admission, he had taken Rachel to bed without giving a damn about the consequences. She had thought he had changed, but this was a man with a history, spread over several years, of sleeping with whoever he felt like at the time and not giving a crap about them or the consequences. Had he gotten caught up in the good mood of the moment and wanted to kiss her, then decided on reflection that she wasn't someone he wanted in – what, a lay, a date, a girlfriend?

Enviously, she thought of Rebecca. The girl was much prettier than she was, she thought. And much smarter. They said boys tended to go after women who reminded him of their mother, and since Jack had barely known his mother and clearly hated his step-mother, then by Gabrielle's reasoning, Rebecca was the only female relative he was close to, so he was bound to seek out women like her. Completely unlike Gabrielle.

She frowned, and Frank took note of it. Like hell she didn't know what he was talking about. It was obvious Jack was avoiding her – the boy had never been very good at keeping it to himself when he'd done something he shouldn't have – and that she was hurt by it. Gossip might travel down, not up, but Bart was far too in awe of Frank _not_ to spill not only everything he had heard, both on the night and gossip in general. And he wasn't pleased with what he had heard. What Quade thought he was up to, Frank had no idea, but he wasn't impressed. Nor was he impressed with Gabrielle for getting involved with him – to whatever extent she _was_ involve with him, which he doubted even the woman herself knew.

What was it with Quade and his NUMs and casing him a whole lot of headaches?

He poked his head outside the office and summoned Zoe. "Tell Quade I want to see him as soon as he makes an appearance," he said. Zoe nodded slightly.

Over half an hour later – Jack certainly knew how to take his sweet time running every single administrative errand he could volunteer for – he made his appearance. "I don't know what the hell is going on with you," Frank said in his typical blustering voice, "and I don't particularly care. But the last thing I need is for two of my staff –" when Gabrielle looked like she was going to object at the 'my staff' he gave her such a glare that she decided it was not the time to start a fight about exactly who's staff she was "to be behaving the way you two are."

"That's none of your business, Frank," Jack said, riled up enough over Frank's interference to snap right back.

Frank raised en eyebrow at him. "I believe you promised me you wouldn't bring your private life to work," he reminded the younger doctor. Jack had the decency to look embarrassed. "Now, I am leaving the two of you to sort out whatever the hell is going on and I am not unlocking this door until I feel satisfied that you have."

"Frank!" Jack and Gabrielle protested in unison.

"Not... a... word," Frank said warningly. He backed out the door, giving them a long look before he shut it, locking the door from the outside as he did (God, but installing a lock from the outside was the best thing he had ever thought of – and like Hell was Zoe getting her mitts on a copy of the key), leaving the awkward couple alone in his office.

Not knowing what else to do, Frank pulled up a chair across from Gabrielle and sat in it, silently. The silence was awkward and deafening. Finally Gabrielle blurted out, "Did you really say you wanted to kiss me?"

Jack didn't reply. He dropped his head so he was staring at the floor. "Sorry," he said. "I didn't know anyone else was home."

"Jack, I hardly think that's the point."

"I do. I got busted venting to the wrong people."

She fought the urge to slap him and wondered how Dan managed to live with someone so intractable. "Did you mean it?" she asked.

"Mean what?"

Damnit, if only he would look at her. "That you wanted to kiss me."

Jack shrugged. "Yeah," he admitted.

"Then why didn't you?"

"Dan turned on the lights."

"Oh, come on, Jack. That was almost a week ago now. You've been avoiding me ever since. You seriously want me to believe it was just a case of bad timing?"

Finally, Jack looked at her, and she almost wished he'd go back to staring at the floor. There was something strange in his eyes that she didn't like – something akin to embarrassment... or shame. "'Cos I started thinking about what you said about Steve and my reputation isn't exactly sterling either. I've done things I'm ashamed of. You have no idea."

There was something in his voice that reminded her of the way he had gone off the rails after Travis's death and all the speculation around what Travis had meant to him that Jack, who was otherwise known to be a ladies' man with a homophobic streak, go off the rails so spectacularly. "What things?" she asked, not sure if she wanted to here the answer. He shook his head slightly and then bent it down so he was facing the floor again. Gently, she cupped his chin and brought his head up so she could meet his eyes. There was an expression there that made absolutely no sense, that made her think of a frightened little boy. "Jack, I promise you, in this job and this ward there can't possibly be anything you can tell me that I haven't already seen."

Jack bit his lip. "You won't tell anyone?" he asked. She shook her head, trying not to feel insulted that he thought she would share anything he told her, let alone something he was clearly ashamed of that was painful for him to talk about. "I was sexually abused for two years when I was thirteen," he said in a ragged voice. "The guy who did it – well, Travis was one of his... that was how Travis contacted me. He was the only person who knew what I had gone through – really knew, I mean." You could run an ED for years, you could have seen so much that you passed judgement on nothing anymore, but that wasn't the same thing as truly understanding what it was to go through some of the heinous things they had both seen over the years. "When he died – I don't get along with most of my family, I blame my dad for what happened to me, for not giving a shit about where I was or who I was with – he was more family to me than most of my real family and when he died I felt like I was losing this big part of myself all over again. I don't know what I was thinking, only that I wanted to feel good about myself."

Suddenly it all made sense. No wonder he was homophobic after what had happened to him. No wonder he was driven to bed as many women as he could. She knew her own sexual confidence had been undermined by Steve's inability to be faithful, she couldn't imagine what it had been for Jack. "So that's it," he finished, as if he could compact two years of horror and the everlasting emotional damage into a few sentences. "Now you understand why it's not a good idea – "

He was cut off when she kissed him. It was awkward because she had never made the first move. Then she wondered if Jack was someone who was comfortable having anyone else make the first move – she remembered him saying something to that effect in passing – and now she wondered if it was the result of being forced to accept the unwanted attention. She pulled away just as awkwardly. "Is this OK?" she asked shyly. "I don't want you to feel uncomfortable."

He laughed outright at that. "You know you're never cuter then when you're trying to do the right thing by people and getting it wrong," he said. She had such a generous heart but a chronic case of foot-in-mouth disease. But it was sweet that she was trying and he smiled at her.

"You think I'm cute?" she asked.

"I think you're more than cute."

"What –" Now it was her turn to be interrupted by a kiss. He planted his mouth on hers but this time wasn't content to stop at just that. He pushed his tongue into her mouth, searching for hers, tangling with it. She met him with enthusiasm. Effortlessly he wrapped his arms around her waist, then pulled her into his lap. She yelped with surprise, but he silenced her quickly by deepening the kiss.

A few minutes later Frank, who decided from the lack of yelling that Jack and Gabrielle must at least be on speaking terms, unlocked the door to find them in a passionate embrace. He cleared his throat and Jack pulled away slightly and reluctantly. "Get out, Frank," he ordered in a voice that even Frank decided was worth obeying, and all without his eyes leaving Gabrielle's face.

Frank retreated. "They'll be fine," he mumbled to an expectantly waiting Charlotte and Zoe.


End file.
